Myth #1 - The Universe only responds to high vibrations - therefore you must be in a high vibrational state 100% of the time.
Whew! Isn't this a load of hooey? I'd love to know where this notion came from that the Universe has only 2 frequencies - high and low.
So here's the deal. You see a ton of stuff online about "love and light" and/or "love or above". There's also a freakishly high number of people who steadfastly believe that in order to manifest F-tons of money you have to vibrate high all the damn time.
Think about this for a second. You say to yourself, Self, I'm gonna vibe high. So you do. Then you think a "bad" (I'm totally using air quotes, here, people) thought. Then you punish yourself for the bad thought. Then you punish yourself for punishing yourself for that bad thought. Now you're suddenly low-vibe and you can kiss those Manolos you've been trying to think into existence good friggin' bye.
Bring on the spiritual bypassing. There's a lot of stuff going on in this world. People are more divided than ever. Somehow running for your life to safety makes you less than human. The loudest voices are the ones running the show but not always for the greater good. Then there's the whole skin tone thing - as a woman of colour, I've been followed in stores, passed over for jobs... the list goes on. But all of these things are considered (air quotes) low-vibration. These (air quotes) spiritual people don't want to address or acknowledge these things for fear it'll bring their vibe down; choosing instead to just send love & light. Oh, help.
So let's dive deeper into this. I've said before the Universe isn't going to spank you for having a (air quotes again) low-vibe moment. Is that even possible to be high all the time? Has that ever happened to you short of eating magic mushroom omelets? Now here's a #recordscratchingmoment for you:
The Universe isn't made up of high & low vibrations. The Universe just is.
The Universe is made up of an infinite variety of vibrations & frequencies. Think about this for a second - on the planet right now there's any number of typhoons, monsoons, cyclones & hurricanes. Are those low-vibrational occurences? No. They're a part of nature. Does the sun shine 100% of the time? No - sometimes it gets cloudy. Hell, it even snows. There's no evidence to support that the Universe is only made up of 1 super-high vibration. In life, there's ups and downs, ebbs and flows. Then you come back to your centre - whatever that may be for you.
Let's talk about the bypassing for a second. Not everyone's life experience is considered (air quotes) great. There's this thing we do in the Western Hemisphere where we use our way of life as a standard of measure to the rest of the planet. We supposedly are top dogs - despite the pollution, frankenfood, political unrest/divisiveness and disdain for skin colouration. We've got to wake up to the fact that we are not all having the same experience. For some of us, love and light isn't going to put food on the table. It's not going to save us from hate crimes. It's definitely not going to silence those loud, divisive voices that say it's okay to hate others for their skin colour et al.
The Universe is Source to all. We exist in this collective together - I agree. But to vibe high all the time and ignore those not in our socio-economic caste... come on. That's so 5 minutes ago.
Be mindful of those to claim you have to vibe high all the time. Avoiding pain is a form of bypassing. Pain and/or suffering can lead to your greatest breakthroughs about yourself and your world around you. Don't avoid it - go through it. The Universe'll still be there when you're done. Maybe those Manolos, too.
I’m a breakup coach. I help ambitious moms who can’t afford to be held up or stalled by a sticky breakup so they can get back to building their online business.
Last week I got asked if I could put a more positive spin on what I do; i.e. I coach couples back into healthy happy relationships...?
Nope. That’s not what I do. Not my Zone of Genius (props to Gay Hendricks; read “The Big Leap” - that book'll blow your mind).
Essentially the question was this: is heartbreak something that someone would admit to needing help with and best of all, is heartbreak that big of a deal?
Yes. Categorically yes on all fronts.
We’ve all been through heartbreak in our lives. Don’t tell me it’s never happened to you because you’re currently in a Smug Married situation. Maybe you've just got a heart of stone or you’re plain sailing down the river of De Nile.
I’ve said this before- we are bombarded with love and light messages and stay positive 100% of the time so you can manifest a Kardashian-type existence.
Here’s the deal - there’s light and there’s darkness. We're taught to be afraid of the dark - literally! Don't engage those "other" feelings and emotions... instead just think positively.
The problem with thinking positively 100% of the time is this - if you don't do it, you beat yourself up for not doing it. Then you start thinking 'negative' thoughts about yourself. Then you cuss yourself out for those thoughts. It turns into this self-flagellating endless loop of self-hate that's hard to stop.
Heartbreak is real, people. It keeps you stuck in destructive patterns (i. e. eating litres of ice cream at one sitting). It crushes your spirit. So instead of just putting a positive spin on it all, get real with yourself.
Face those feelings head on. Learn from them. Then let them go.
Simple? Yes. Easy? Not a chance!
That's where I come in. If you're experiencing heartbreak that's keeping you from moving forward with your goals and dreams, book a free 30-minute Let's Talk session with me.
Share your story with me. I'll provide you some strategies to get you started on the journey back to yourself. I'll also explain how I can support you further if we connect as human beings.
Click here to book your spot now.
I need a new vision for my life.
I have spent most of my adult life 'waiting'. Waiting for an opportunity. Waiting in fear. Waiting for life to find me.
Life seems to have eluded me but have I been dodging it this whole time out of FEAR?
Fear is taught.
Fear was taught to me by the same people who were supposed to cherish me, nourish me and replenish my soul.
I can't lay blame at their feet.
Not too long ago I discovered the sheer capacity of my own mind.
My own mind is just that - my own. I have the capacity of choice and the ability to be free.
I thought for so long I was controlled by someone or something.
Do you know how freeing it is to finally take hold of the entire mind that is entirely mine?
Ever wonder what your ex is thinking or feeling right after the two of you broke up? Here's exactly what they're thinking. Read it carefully - this'll help you ease that temptation of reaching out to them to see what's up.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve gone through it too... in fact, I still am.
I struggled with this decision. Yet, I knew it had to be done. We weren’t happy anymore. I just couldn’t keep pretending I was.
I see you struggling with your emotions; struggling to hang on to what we had. I struggled, too. Don’t think I didn’t mourn the end of our relationship; I really did... you just didn’t know it or see it.
I know this is hard for you. It’s hard for me too. I want you to know that you’ll go on; you’ll move on. We were just two people whose connection ran its course.
One day I woke up. I saw the sunlight streaming through the window. I felt like life was going on all around me... but somehow the channel was different. Everything I knew to be true was gone - disappearing when I opened my eyes after a long sleep. You didn't wake me up - I woke myself up.
So yes, it's a bit of "it's not you, it's me". The difference here is I'm owning up to it.
I know in my heart that our connection is gone. We were two people looking to end the constant disappointment of unsuccessful dates. We were both tired of waiting, hoping, worrying, wondering, analyzing the latest tweet/text/email from someone we wanted so desperately to be the proverbial ONE. When we got together, it was relief.
Or was it?
I ignored all the warning signs in exchange for not being alone in this world. So I kept going. We did have some incredible times. I still laugh at those jokes told right before bed or that time we went on holiday and just stared out at the ocean together.
Now I see that it's time to move on. I need to move on from us.
You gotta know I struggled with this. I knew in my heart it was over. I also knew I had no more love for you. There were times I didn't even want to look at you. But the prospect of going back to that lonely desperate single life wasn't really an option for me; neither was continuing to be with you.
For months I raged war within myself. I fought inside my head about what to do. Please know I never wanted to hurt you - I still don't. I don't even hate you. I just don't want to be with you in a romantic capacity any longer.
I know you think me cruel and heartless. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. I'm consciously choosing to bring our journey together to an end because it would've arrived there anyway.
Do what you need to move forward. I can't help you navigate the storm as I have to move away from you in that way. There's nothing you can't handle, no matter how hard it may seem.
Now that you know what your ex is thinking and feeling, what comes up for you? How will this help you move forward? I can definitely support you through this time. Book a free Let's Talk session with me here.
There's so much noise in the world today. When you're dealing with heartbreak, it's hard to know where to turn. Seems like there's someone on every corner (virtual or otherwise) who's got 7 ways or 5 exact steps or something of the like.
Are you being sick of being told what to do? It’s enough to make your head explode like a bottle of Diet Coke with some Mentos on the rocks!
What you really need is a quiet time and space to get still and listen to your own thoughts.
That’s the beauty of coaching - it allows you time to open up at your own pace to let your feelings out... embedded in those feelings is the solution you’ve been searching for.
As a coach, my role is to hold that space for you. During a session, you let it all out - unapologetically and uncensored (cuss if you have to). I show you that within your thoughts is the clarity you’ve been looking for all this time.
Let's talk! Book a complimentary 30-minute session with me here. I'll show you how to start moving on from heartbreak and if we connect as humans, I'll explain what it would be like to work together.