After I told family & friends about my brother's passing, I kept being told the same thing over & over again: "if there's anything I can do, let me know."
I had to think about that for a second. What can anyone really do? My brother is dead. He's not coming back.
I know in my heart those words had the utmost intentions behind them. It's not nice to see someone you care about go through any kind of tragedy.
It's hard for me to ask for help. Like super-hard. So when my toddler tells me, "do it myself", I'm all over it.
Dealing with loss and grief is the exact same process as dealing with heartbreak. Don't say it isn't because it's all the same - something or someone that was once a presence in your life suddenly isn't anymore.
I wondered if all those people actually meant that they'd help me out. So I spoke up. I asked for food. Not because I was starving but I wasn't really in the mood to cook anything for myself and my son.
I'd be lying if I said I was shocked by the response I got. I got tons of food. Not just ready-made instant crap but proper home-cooked meals that literally fed my soul as I made funeral service arrangements for my brother.
I'm grateful for the support that's still coming in. Which brings me to the key point of this blog post: if you know someone who's going through a loss of any kind, follow up your "if there's anything I can do" statement with actual action.
Mean what you say. Because that person is going through a holy emotional shitstorm and can't think straight. They need you. So be there.